Heart Baby

Brody had his surgery. Nothing was quite as advertised.

The 3-4 day recovery time will not happen.  Yesterday was day 4 and we remain in the ICU.
We were told that there was a thin membrane near his mitral valve.  It was not thin.  It was thick and built like an outer heart wall.
We were told that there was a vein on the wrong side.  Rather, he had a total anomolous venous return and so much more had to be rerouted.
We were told that there were holes in his septum.  Well, that part was right.  And thank God for them.  Without them, he would never have lived to be born.
We were told he had valve stenosis.  He had no valve stenosis. It simply appeared that way because the sheer volume that vessel was forced to handle was far too much.
We were told that his heart was actually fine and that it'd be at least a year before we saw anything like true enlargement.  On the day of surgery, his heart was enormous by even the cardiologists standards.

But my baby is persevering.

We are nearly off his pacemaker.  His heart rhythms have synced--finally-- and show the full range of activity to include his p-waves.  They have it set only to kick in if his heart goes very, very low.  We are testing to see how this affects him and how he manages.  His rate is lower than the norm for his age. However, his heart has had to work much harder for his whole short life and had managed to do so on an "average" heart rate.  Perhaps a healthy one for him is lower.

Being off the pacemaker means being let out of ICU.  I pray to God that day is soon.

Everything else is going well so far.  There was a minor bleeding issue that was brought under control and today he's had stomach issues from the gunk that built up in his throat due to ventilator irritation.

I am blessed.

Yet politically minded "friends" and family send information about protecting the rights of women to abort fetuses that are defective.  I find this not only the height of insensitivity, but extremely repulsive to think that I would want to be given such propaganda. That I would rather have my Brody dead than recovering beautifully from corrective surgery.

That Bridge Done Burnt Already

Internet social convention is to not write details about issues or complaints that are workplace related. 

However, what do you do when the complaints are about a former client or employer.
And what if that former employer or client has already blackballed you, therefore making the argument about future employment moot?
And what if your complaints about them are about what's been done AFTER your business with them terminated?


Are you still supposed to remain silent?

Falling into Place

Everything is finally normalizing. Just in time for it to all fall apart again.

Brody has surgery scheduled next week, Wednesday. They did find an additional defect (a pulmonary artery on the wrong side) in his subsequent tests, but the thought is that everything can still be fixed in a single 3-4 hour operation. The thought is he should have a normal life after that with no limitations.

I pray every day that that's the case. I can't help but think of the worst case scenario and know the dangers he faces. But I also know that if we don't do anything, the dangers are a definite rather than a possible. And would begin to show in less than a year. It's best that I have them operate on my perfectly healthy child.

On a happier note, I have the boys signed up for daycare again. Another new place chosen to fulfull new needs. I have them where Sasha's Kindergarten next year does SAC (before and after school care) and so he would be going anyway. I had considered sticking them back at Bright Horizons (I did love that place) but it doesn't make sense. I would have to pull Sasha out in a few months again, regardless, and Brody may have needed to be pulled too depending on where Hubby is working next year. I do not currently work downtown, where Bright Horizons is. The super happy point is that this new place saves us over a thousand dollars a month.

That's right. It's a GRAND a MONTH cheaper.

Which brings us to happy note number two: my new job. It doesn't pay quite so well in base salary as my previous position. It's a small amount less, more than made up for in daycare savings alone so I am not sweating it. Additionally, I'll be based out of my house making a portion of certain personal costs (utilities, mortgage, technology upgrades, car, etc.) deductable. This makes for a guaranteed bonus next year come tax time. There is a non-guaranteed profit sharing bonus also possible which I've never had available before. I am simply happy that I know we will be alright. My previous company is still in contact with me about the contract dispute, and I do want to keep that door open in case anything happens.

I am grateful for the trials of this past few years. If nothing else, I see that there was a plan (I started the process to get this new job before I left the old one, the hiring process is slow) out there and I was following it. I was meant to have Brody, which meant I had to have THAT pregnancy and no other, perhaps I also needed preparation to accept his extra needs. I also needed the time to care for him, meaning I needed time away from work. I needed a job that would give me that time. I also think that the dogs deteriorating health will improve our future. Not having them means we can do things more easily with the boys like take a trip up to Calvert Cliffs for fossil hunting or spend a weekend in Ocean City. Trips that take extra cost, planning, and heartburn with the dogs.

So I have it. And all of this is preparing us to have a greatly improved life in the future.