Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Blessing in Disguise

After some thought, spying, and generally sneaking about to determine what's going on...I'm glad we're being "kicked out" of daycare. It seems as if it'll be a blessing.

Sasha was only going twice a week, so he thankfully was able to get a break from the place and spend most of his time in a more suitable environment.

You see, while I have seen many children thriving in her care, and so I know it is a wonderful place for many children, I think it's really a terrible place for him after discussion and what I've seen. Their ways are too strict and rigid for him and it's not a healthy environment for him or any baby like him. Perhaps if he'd been there from the start, or was a much older child. But not as he is right now.

Firstly, when I left in the morning, I stuck around a little and noticed that she took away his Taggie from him and packed it up. When asked later why, the answer was that it was unsanitary. And true, it is a little nasty with drool and sometimes boogers, but he doesn't let it go so only he is infected with it's germs. And they are his germs. Sort of a non-issue compared with how happy the little rag makes him. Apparently though his persistant crying had her relent later in the day. And he was happy again and able to play.

Secondly the issue of his drinking was brought up and she is rather insistant he do it himself. She simply *won't* hold his bottle or cup for him. Apparently this is supposed to teach him to do it and she believes he should be able to by now. In reality, all it does is leave him thirsty and unhappy and therefore he doesn't nap. Which makes him even more upset and makes for much unpleasantness for everyone. I know he can do it because for a time he loved his cuppie, but for whatever reason he changed his mind and now won't do it. And you can't reason with an infant so you just do what it takes when it comes to those necessities like food and drink. She is of a differing conviction. And so my boy is left to make up for all his milk and sleep when he comes home. Leaving me in marathon all-night nursing sessions where I basically just sit in his rocker with him while he sleeps, eats, sleeps, eats, and so on all thru the night.

Thirdly, is the issue of mobility. I know she tends to keep the babies in small contained areas for long periods: high chairs, cribs, pens. And Sasha is reaching an age where he needs to be given some freedom of movement. He is a true toddler now. His love of toys beyond his walking toy has temporarily disappeared in favor of wobbling around the house and inspecting every nook, cranny, and crevice. And this is really important that he be able to do this every day so he can LEARN his rules and newfound abilities, and about his surroundings. It's natural that he be upset right now at being so constricted. And it's natural to him to try and escape those confinements...which is dangerous. All that climbing is why he has gotten black eyes, split lips, and currently has a big purple line along his left cheekbone. It's actually safer to set him loose and just keep an eye on him. I'm not upset that he falls. I'm upset that he isn't given the opportunity to be in developmentally appropriate excercise and repeated escapes don't have her changing her tactics at all.

His Grandma said she'd take him full-time until we could find a better place, with the exception of 2 days in the next few weeks where she won't be home. We can probably cover those ourselves. I've gotten him to take a specific straw cup all by himself (I just put it on the floor and he went over, sat down, picked it up, checked it out, and then went right to drinking the applejuice---drank half the 10oz bottle right there). So tomorrow should be better in that we actually HAVE something he will drink out of and minimal health requirements can finally be fulfilled. That’s if he doesn't change his mind again. I don't expect though he'll stop crying, sleep, or any of the other "disruptive behaviors". Because nothing they're doing will have changed.

It's only 2 months till his Daddy will be home full-time so at most that's what Grandma will have to handle. Hubby has canvassed everyone he knows (even slightly) for recommendations and we'll check those out. We also will look into a Nanny for those 2 days since it appears he may need more individual care than what is typically given.


caramama said...

It really doesn't sound like that is the right place for Sasha. I can never get over those people who think all babies should conform to what they want because easy babies can do it. Not all babies are the same, nor should they be.

It's great that your mom will be able to watch him for you. Good luck finding another daycare or part-time nanny!

Amy said...

I worked at a daycare before I ever was a mom and even then I couldn't figure out why we couldn't adapt to the needs of the child - not in the sense of letting them be in charge, but the same way we are in tune to the needs of any other human being. I think it's related to control issues and pure selfishness with the powers that be at those daycares. It made me mad before for other people's kids, but now that I have my own and really understand first hand how very different kids can be from the "textbook" I get livid about stuff like this. It really is utterly ridiculous!

Kat - Housewife Confidential said...

Oh my gosh - this woman sounds terrible. I'm setting up as a childminder in the UK and if children were treated like this in my care then my registration would be taken away. I sincerely hope you find something suitable that respects his needs as a child and not the convenience of the provider! Kat x

sheSaidC2 said...

I agree, it sounds like a very good thing to not be there any more. Taking away his comfort because it is not sanitary is stupid! and just creating trouble for everyone. Just because she thinks he should be somewhere doesn't mean he is!? you have to work with kids where they are! Good luck.