Xanax Not Required

Although a great deal of the details are still up in the air, my work situation has evidently been hammered out. My company called, told me they were keeping me on after all, and so no worries. Problem solved.

A great deal else is going on, however. Things that should be making me crazy with stress, but oddly, aren’t—at least not to the degree I think they should. And in increasing "make me insane" value:

• I have my PMP exam this weekend.


• My Grandfather is doing poorly. He’s taken a definite downturn and it’s not believed he has much time left.


• My baby brother turned down another job offer (this one would include an offer for his almost-wife*). He has been unemployed for months and I worry about him. I worry about anyone who turns down offers of jobs that INCLUDE both an offer for your spouse, family support nearby (since it includes a move and they don’t have a place here), have higher salaries than you’ve earned thus far in life, and are in your field of expertise when they’ve been unemployed, do not have other prospects, and do not have the money to have the option of being a househusband. I’m worried about him. That’s why I keep working to get him job offers. Which he keeps turning down.

And yet, I’m not ranting or railing. I’m just feeling an undercurrent of concern. Concern for others. Concern on whether I should be doing something. Concern that I’m doing the wrong things. Concern about the welfare of my family. But a concern that isn’t keeping me from going about a normal day like it’s any other. I wonder if I'm just getting hard hearted?


*I say “almost-wife” because, while they had a wedding (I couldn’t go, we had no money for airfare), they are not legally married. In the U.S. you need to have a marriage license filed and signed by a recognized officiate and witnesses. I’m fuzzy on the details, but more or less it was determined unnecessary by someone in the Brides’ camp, when the original plans were made. They are having another wedding soon that’ll rectify any lack of recognition issues that the first left open.