Because I’m exhausted, my mind is wandering.
I have a habit of reading advice columns and something has stuck with me today: Brides getting upset because—the individual assumes—they have stolen her thunder.
I can’t help but wonder what really happened.
When we got married, I lost a friend. I’m sure she assumes it’s because I feel she “stole my thunder” but that couldn’t be further from the truth. We had lots of announcements—during our reception toast time—of peoples impending joys and I thought it was wonderful. It’s a joyous day, so why not add to it!
No, it was because of how she acted.
I’d asked her to be in the wedding party. Knowing she was a bit strapped, I told her I’d take care of everything: dress, travel, accessories, babysitting…the whole thing. She didn’t need to worry about any arrangements or costs. After all, I wasn’t a bridezilla (I wasn’t rich by the way. I’d lost my job and was working 2 part time jobs to make money).
She accepted, and the planning began.
She kept asking me to hold showers themed with products she sold so she could “make some good cash off the shindig.” I told her I had no desire for a bridal shower. I was uncomfortable with the idea of asking for presents and so I wanted to skip that tradition.
Then she pushed for a bachelorette party, again coupled with one of her business ventures, so that she could “make the whole thing worth it.” I wasn’t interested in that style, so I offered to take all the ladies out for a nice dinner instead. Somewhere fun and we’d have a nice time.
I asked her if she wanted to be at the wedding, really. I would have understood if she didn’t. Even if it didn’t cost her anything, it was still a ways to travel and some inconvenience And I was getting the vibe she was more interested in working on her income anyway. But she assured me she did.
So the planning continued. Dresses and accessories were picked (by the bridesmaids) and I paid for them. Travel arrangements were made, and I paid for them. All was said and done.
Until I called to say her stuff came in and that I was going to post it to her so she could have any fitting done that was necessary.
She then told me.
She was EXTREMELY pregnant and wouldn’t be coming. She actually had no intention of coming, ever. But she did want “stuff.” She hoped I could send her everything she’d ordered so she could resell it and exchange the tickets for cash. And that it was too bad because she could’ve made a lot more off of a few showers and a bachelorette party.
I was heartbroken. Not because she was pregnant. I would have been happy for her.
It was because she evidently she looked at me and only saw a schmuck.