Well, obviously I'm no longer pregnant. His Royal Hiney showed up very, very late--June 12, the day I was scheduled for an induction. Labor started the afternoon before and made for an interesting, contraction-filled trip out for dinner and ice cream. I was so used to going into labor only to have it stall out that I just ignored it.
And yes, it was labor, not false labor. Turns out that thanks to His Royal Hiney's large melon-like head my body would give up after a while. My water never broke so they just sent me back home and would say take Ambien and stop working. I didn't stop working and I can't take Ambien, but that's another story.
Anyway, I finally decided to try going into the hospital yet again early the morning of the 12th. I figured they might just let me in early and get this over with since he was supposed to be born that day anyhow. They did and I had given up on the idea of natural childbirth by that point...I was exhausted and wanted a nap before I had to start pushing. Epidurals are fabulous. He gave it with pitocin and kept telling me to watch and my contractions would normalize. They never did. The contractions might have 5 minute breaks...all the way till the end. But the contractions themselves might last 5-10 minutes each!! I apparently don't get more frequent contractions. If you go start of peak to start of peak, they got less frequent. But good golly Miss Molly....they got more powerful and longer.
Well, they had to break my water but things progressed FAST at that point. Within a very short time I was pushing. We're talking in 2 hours I went from 4cm to 10. And I needed to push so bad but the Dr. wasn't coming. Why? Because he didn't think I was going to be ready anytime soon. After all, it had taken FOREVER for me to get to 4cm. He figured after a broken membrane that it'd be many more hours and was off seeing to other business. Finally though, after a nurse checked to assure him that I was in fact ready, he made his way back over while I pushed with my Mom, the nurses, and my husband around me.
That didn't work. Again with the trials of a giant melon-like head. He got stuck.
Forceps didn't work. Vacuum didn't work. Rearranging me didn't work. Rearranging the baby didn't work (and was excruciating). Letting my drugs wear off didn't work. And by this point I'd been pushing for a few hours and knew he was stuck. Plus, his vitals weren't doing that well anymore. The trauma from my efforts to give birth to him was beginning to wear on him. Time for an emergency cesarean and so they pushed him back up so his little conehead was no longer so far down (again, excruciating).
That wasn't so bad. He was out very very quickly and in his Daddy's arms. They could see he was post mature...flaky skin, meconium staining, skinny, etc. But he was healthy and that's what matters. Over 21 inches...but only 7lbs 12oz. And ginormous cranium...but that was expected. My own at birth? Well, lets just say it took 8 months for the neurologist to give up trying to find out what was wrong with me. And eventually I just grew into it.
Next time I'm having a different doctor. I already know my labor doesn't go like the textbooks say and so is easily dismissed as something else and was. I will be looking for a doctor who listens to me and one who is also good at c-sections since I'll just schedule one next time.