Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Already Experiancing CompetiMommies

Maybe I'm just out of touch, but I don't understand the 1st birthday party ritual.

We got an invite to Beanie's party at a playground--no, not the typical swingset and picnic table playground, more like a fairy tale themed fair. A bunch of kids are coming. And it's got the pizza delivery, cake and icecream. And spans thru lunch and a naptime.

From what I can tell, this is normal. And I have no issues with it. If that's what you want, go for it. It's your life, your kid, your time, and your money.

I got asked about Sasha's since he's only a month younger than Beanie, and I told them I actually hadn't planned on doing anything. I was going to make him a shortcake with apricot sauce, and cut fruits. Take lots of photos of him as a giant mess. And get him a sandbox and wading pool. Maybe have a few family members over--at least those who acknowledge their relation to Sasha--and sloppy joes (Sasha likes them with my special healthy recipe). But that was it. No big fete. Just little special things that our baby will like.

I got a lot of shocked reactions for that. And tales of the cast of hundreds they invited to their kids first birthdays. And the events, catering, etc.

Am I just a bad Mom?

But the way I see it, Sasha doesn't know that's a special day. And he's not going to remember his 1st birthday either so it's not like we're building memories for him. I figure it's better for him to go smaller. Then his naps won't be disturbed and he can better enjoy himself. Not to mention, I really don't want to go into debt for a kids birthday party. Especially one where the kid in question hasn't a clue what's going on.

But then again, am I just too much of a hippy? Too into the "let your baby do things at their own pace", be all-natural, no-pressure way of life? I mean, I've already been admonished by these folks for breastfeeding Sasha. And for not allowing him to eat anything I'd consider "junk food". But I don't feel that being a little needy of Mommy when he's still a baby is bad. Nor do I think that at such a young age he needs to develop a taste for sugar-laden, fatty, salty, highly processed foods. There is time enough for all that later. Isn't there?


caramama said...

IMO, there is plenty of time for that. But I'm with you on the hippy side of things, I guess.

Actually, out of most of the babies I know in this area, only 1 or 2 had a big 1st birthday. Most of my family and friends did smaller, family-only parties.

Of course, our close family-only party turned out to have 18 adults, 5 toddlers, 1 kid and 1 preteen. But hubby's family came up for the party. It was still low-key and ended up being a lot of fun.

These kids aren't going to remember it at all. You do what's right for you and your family. I know you will anyway. :-)

sheSaidC2 said...

plenty of time for crap food when he is 11 if not sooner.
As for 1st birthdays I know people who went both ways.
Small private family party (cause he wont remember)
and big blowout (last one till he is like 11)

Amy said...

Oh Honey
I am so with you!
I don't get people asking questions when they're not really curious, they're more like totally critical and the question is like this mask for the analytical and condescending attitude they have toward the way I do things for my child. I'm not trying to push it onto them and theirs, so why can't they mind their own business, UNLESS I ask them their opinion (which I never will because they never wait to be asked, they just lay it right out there whenever they want to)
You're right you'll be happier and Sasha will be happier if his birthday party doesn't turn his whole day upside down. :)

Kat - Housewife Confidential said...

Before she was born I thought we'd never do the first birthday thing... I am currently organising a first birthday party :)

We are having a joint baby party with several other babies at a picnic place in the woods nearby. Lots of family fun and picnics. It is a day about celebrating them and our families. I hope this is the beginning of a tradition. She may not remember it but she will enjoy it and one day see the photos. I guess we can never guarantee what will be remembered but try our best to make sure they always feel loved.

I think the pizza & ice cream is weird but then you know how I feel about cake etc. As for spending money, I know a 1st birthday party which involved hiring the zoo and over eighty guests...

Becoming Mommy said...

As I said...different strokes.

And a family picnic party to me is well within the realm of low-key. No matter how big your family is.

We're going to the party, but I'll be bringing a Bento from home for Sasha. I'll get flack about it, but who cares. I really don't want him eating like that. They can make fun of me all they want.

Kat - Housewife Confidential said...

It must be so difficult hanging out with people who would give you flack for giving your child nutritious food!

Becoming Mommy said...

I'm learning that it's a large portion of general population...

Anonymous said...

I was right there with you on Boog's 1st birthday party. And then you know what happened, my freakin' family (including my husband) happened.

Just like with the wedding I didn't want I found myself throwing a pizza party for a 1 year old and a bunch of adults. Granted I didn't spend that much and the family enjoyed themselves but still i didn't want to do anything.

Amy said...

I hear you on that! :)Like the looks I get when I ask where I can nurse my child because I'm trying to be sensitive to those who would rather not see my shirt with a head peeking out of one side - not like they would ever see anything they shouldn't. Those same people give me the same look when I pull out my little gerber tupperwares with homemade chicken and peas or butternut squash and rice.
Maybe we make them feel guilty. . .